Letter 9

Sarah Girl,
I can't believe that officially you have been out more than you were in. Blows my mind.

I have started planning your first birthday party and have found that I need to reign in a little. I just want everything perfect for you, always. Party or not.

This perfect thing is leaching it's way in to everything that has to do with you. I want  you to be right where the "they" say you should be, I want your outfits and bedroom to be perfect and now your party.

The thing that I am slowly realizing, although I am ashamed to admit it, you are perfect.

No if ands or buts about it.

Anyway back to how you are growing.

Your naps have become much less stressful and I am so thankful for that. You are much more pleasant when you wake up if you didn't go through the screaming before hand.

The doc cleared you for table food and you L.O.V.E it, a little too much at times. You are doing great feeding yourself but you are a little to over zealous sometimes. We had a scary moment this month when you were choking on a yogurt melt and I had to grab you out of your high chair and lay you across my legs and strike your back to get it dislodged. You were scared, crying and taking deep breaths, I was scared, crying and taking deep breaths. Then you proceeded to throw up all over me, I didn't care I was just happy you were ok.

Honey, you are sooooooo close to crawling. It is happening as I predicted, you sit and then lean forward and then get on your knees and try to move your legs. Then you fall on your tummy and scream. It's a process but I am just happy that you are getting closer to being mobile.

Speaking of falling...

You fell off the couch... twice, on my watch. The first time, I set you on the couch and the dogs started going after each other, so I left you content, laying back drinking a bottle. I came back after being gone 30 seconds and you were sitting on the floor, with your bottle. No thud, no tears. The second time I caught you and lowered you gently to the ground but total mom fail.

You are trying to pull yourself up and I think that once you crawl, walking won't be to far behind.

You have a total of 5 teeth with two more making their way down but these smaller teeth have been a breeze compared to your front two.

Something that has been bothering me lately is how enamored you are with TV and how your daddy and I don't really deter it. It started with just a couple shows in the morning because, like your mommy you aren't a morning person. Then it transformed to about an hour, and then I just gave up.

I don't know how to interact with you and keep your attention and keep you engaged like the tv does. Now please don't think I just plop you down and let it babysit you. We sing, clap, count, look at shapes and colors. You love to dance with me when the songs play and you grab at my fingers when we count.

I know I need to cut back on your screen time but I have come to the realization that if the worst thing I do to you is overload you on educational programing that we both interact through. Than I am not doing to bad in my book.

You love the little songs I make up for you and you have started with your DA DA DA, BA BA BA, MA MA MA. And you have started screaming, sometimes because you feel ignored if I have to walk away and sometimes because you are just testing your vocal cords.

I read that at this age you are becoming more aware of the concept of me being around just not around you (aka separation anxiety) and you HATE when I leave the room or walk away from you. The tears and screams are real little one! Unfortunately I do have to leave you sometimes and just make sure you see me leave and then give you extra cuddles when I get back.

Well, little one that is about it for month 9. I can't believe we are getting in to double digits here in a few weeks. You are getting so big and growing up so fast. I miss when you were a baby and we just laid in bed cuddling all day. But this new chapter is going to be so much fun!

I love you love muffin,
Mommy.

Letter 8

Hello my love!
It is hard to believe that at the the beginning of next month you have officially been out for as long as you were in. Crazy huh? But that's next month lets look at this month shall we.

This month marked my first month of being home full time. We kind of have a schedule worked out and I love that we eased in to it and it is working... for the most part.

Guuuuuurl, you absoluetly hate nap time/being in your room/your crib.I mean once you stop screaming bloody murder you are a great napper but getting to that point is rough. You want to be with me 24/7 and as faltered as I am, I try to get stuff done while you nap. You could be dead to the world but when we cross that threshold you know and you start to cry. I have started giving you your bottle before and then laying you down, that way I know you aren't waking up because you are hungry. Most days you are down by 9:45, you cry for about 5-10 minutes and then are out for about an hour and a half.  Then you wake up all smiles and instead of whisking you out of your room I am trying to have a tiny bit of play time with you in there so you don't look at it as the room of abandonment.

You love food. I don't think that I have given you something that you haven't liked yet. Even the veggies you are eating like a champ. We have introduced you to juice and you are unsure about it, I think it is because it is cold and lets face it, warm juice is gross.

You are teething something fierce and your gums are getting more and more swollen everyday, me thinks you will have two more teefers soon! This however has made you SUPER cranky, which is understandable because I remember what teeth pain felt like and its no fun. We have been trying to self medicate with ice, teethers, teething tablets and I even broke down and bought an amber necklace.

Oh the amber necklace, I bought it on a desperate whim trying to help you and all it did was look cute. I know people swear by them and I can at least said I tried it right?

Anyway, you are sitting like a pro but are getting very frustrated that you can't join this fast paced world. You aren't crawling yet and it is freaking me out. Everyone says it will happen or it won't and the world will go on but I was so looking forward to this milestone that I am becoming impatient.

You are flirting with babbling but you only do it when you are mad. So hopefully next month, with some work we can get a full fledged momma or dada. I won't be too upset if you say dada first.

Love you bunches.
Momma

Letter 7

I can't believe that you are 7 months old... and that in 5 months you will be a year old.

Blows my mind.

Anyway month 7, was a pretty great month for you, the major development is that you, my dear can sit up by yourself! Your tumbles are getting few and far between but they scare you, which baffles me considering how much you LOVE to be tossed in the air.

You  are getting more and more in to food, one word for you young lady, PINEAPPLE.

I thought I was going to write about how much you liked pears, which you do, but the look on your face when we fed you pineapple was priceless. You couldn't believe your taste buds it was so good. You actually screamed at your father in protest when he wouldn't feed you fast enough. It made my night.

This was the month that I started my night shift at work, that means more time at home with you, and I have to say that I love being home with you. I was worried because you can be challenging but I think we are figuring each other out just fine.

We have been working on getting on some semblance of a schedule, which is hard. You like to wake up before any human should function (4 am) and take a bottle, then you fall back asleep until 8am. This kind of puts a damper on a morning and afternoon nap. You also like to make nap time in to mommy and Sarah cuddle time which is nice but I am trying to break you of sleeping in our bed with us cuddling you.You don't like this idea, at all.

You still hate tummy time, but very slowly, like no words for it slowly, are developing the muscles you need to be able to hold yourself up better, this is the next step to crawling babe. You want to move SO BADLY but just won't accept that it will have to stem from being on your tummy sometimes.

Remember last month when I said you were finding your voice, well you are actually starting to make mamamamamamama noises and dadadadadadadada noises. You can guess which one I want you to master first.

Your 7th month ended in sickness once again, tis the season I guess. You just woke up in the middle of the night with a fever, covered in snot. It has been a rough last week with the sleepless nights and trying to make you feel better, lots of hugs and kisses all around. We suspect that with the amount of drool you are expelling that your next set of teeth are coming in, but then again we have been saying this for about a month now.

I am absolutely loving this time with you honey bun, my love muffin, and I can't wait to see what all you will have accomplished next month.

Love,
Mommy

Letters 5 & 6

Hey Love Muffin,
Let me just say that I guess I am not one of those mothers that has the gene for sticking with an idea. Your month stickers are still in the top of your closet.... not used.

You my dear are keeping me busy! In month 5 you started babbling, finding your voice and we love it. You still HATE tummy time with a passion of 1000 fiery suns, and no matter how hard we try you just won't do it. In your 5th month, right around Thanksgiving, while watching the parade, you finally rolled over! It was so exciting, then you realized this action landed you on your most loathed tummy so you stopped. You will roll on to your side and stop there.

Month six was a hard month for you you started teething, your first two teeth (bottom front) popped through within days of each other December 16-19 and you were miserable. On top of the regular crumminess that teething brings you had an allergic reaction and an upper respiratory infection. Like I said it was a hard month for you but through the snot, cough and tears, you would smile and light up the room. This was also your first Christmas and you did wonderful! You actually did better than expected ripping the paper which made it fun for us. Santa went a little overboard considering you were only 6 months old but it was your first. We rang in the new year at your aunt and uncle's house and it was made very clear that you don't really like new places, at least to sleep.

You started your baby food and LOOOOOOOOOOOVE squash. Seriously squash is where it's at for you. You haven't liked fruit thus far just the orange veggies. You get so excited when we get you strapped in to the high chair, you kick your legs and just jabber away and smile. I knew you were ready for baby food, probably at 4 months, but we waited. I have a feeling you are going to plump up my darling.





I fall more and more in love with you each day and sometimes are just hit with this wave of disbelief and pure joy. I waited so long for you and sometimes I just think I am going to wake up from this dream and be back to trying.

Love you,
Mommy

One trait of mine I hope you didn't get

Dear Sarah,

When your Dad and I were day dreaming about who you would look like and what traits you would have, I found myself with a long list of ones I hope you didn't get.

Most were inconsequential for instance I hoped that where my butt is lacking in roundness and general "just want to grab it",I hoped, for your sake you got your fathers glorious hiney.

There were some with some seriousness about them, for one my depression. I prayed on this one, that you wouldn't have to live one day feeling like I feel on most.

The other, less dark and scary one is the ability to read too much in to things.

Today, for example, I got on twitter (its this really dumb, slightly genius, social networking websites that only gives you 140 characters to make a point- that's the genius part but also changed what # means for generations to come-the dumb part) and saw that a friend of mine had stopped following me.

It hurt, more than it should.

I automatically started to think, what did I do wrong, is she mad at me, did I say something to offend her? When the fact of the matter is  I hadn't been on twitter for a months and my account was spamming everyone.

Even with a more realistic answer like that I went in to damage control mode, made contact again and still got the sweaty palms and increased heart rate of a kid who just got caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

This is one trait of mine I hope you are not wired for.

Look on the side of reason before you get emotionally crippled by a situation.

Love you.,
Mom

Cluck, Cluck

Dear Sarah,
Halloween is in a few days and I would be lying if I told you it took me months to nail down a costume.

I am NOT lying when I tell you that I have had your Halloween costume for roughly 7 years.

So here is what happened...

I worked at Old Navy for few years right out of high school and the first year I started I was the one that unpacked the costumes for da babies.

There was one that stood out, on a scale of 1 to 10 on a cuteness scale it was an 11.

It was a chicken costume.

I watched as moms walked out of the store with their babies and chicken costumes, pulling my uterus heart strings at the thought of the chubby faced cherub as the chicken.

It took all the strength 18 year old me had to not buy one.

But that would be weird wouldn't it?

I watched as the costume supply dwindled, went on clearance and then became non-existent. I was a little relieved when the last chicken sold, the temptation was gone and I could get on with my life.

Then 365 days after first laying eyes on the chicken, there it was, staring me down with its cuteness.

This is where things get a little weird, what am I talking about they already are, let's just fall further down the rabbit hole.

I didn't just want to be THAT girl that started a baby keepsake box of baby whatnots because I was just dating your dad and not to mention I was only 18.

I got home that night and snuggled the build a bear your dad had made me and then it happened.

"This is about the size of a newborn baby" I said to myself and from there I actually justified that I needed that chicken costume for my bear because what bear doesn't need a chicken costume meant for a newborn baby?

Then things spiraled out of control further.

I went in to work and purchased a costume.

I know what you are thinking, its not a newborn size.

I know this, they didn't have it so I bought the smallest size they had which was 3-6 month and STILL told myself and others that it was for this bear...

Denial.

I will admit the level of excitement I felt when I realized that after years of saying "Maybe when I have baby they will be the right age to wear this for Halloween", and it actually happening was probably higher than it should have been.

A lot higher.

Anyway, that is how your first ever Halloween costume came to be.

aka, your mother is crazy.

Love,
Mom

4 months

Dear Honey Bun,
You are 4 months old, and I will get to the stats in a minute, but first I want to get all mommy and sappy for a second.

While holding you last night (right before you completely doused me in half digested formula), and you will cooing and twiddling your little hands I was hit with such a tidal wave of love (and spit up).

Sometimes, and I don't know why, I don't feel as deep of a connection with you as I would like, I feel like I am going through the motions. But then in a moment, like the one last night, I just look at you and it's there. I am yours and you are mine. It is still mind blowing to me that you were made within me and here you are, you are the late night wishes, the prayers and even the tears of the two years it took to get to this point.

would I do it all again? In a heart beat.

Ok, enough of sappy stuff, trust me I could go on for hours.

 You weigh in at 11lbs and 9oz.

I keep under estimating how much you weigh, I said just under 11lbs.

You have grown 2 inches in length and 2 cm in the noggin department.

We have purchased your next season and size up clothes, that was a fun day that you slept entirely through. I know that will change in about 12 years.

Your 3 month clothing is a little big but that's ok, the doc even said your "growing curve" is right on the money but you aren't on "normal" chart yet.

You are a sleeping champ, even taking naps now, HIGH FIVE! We are very thankful that you sleep at daycare and that has helped tremendously. Also, we are slowly transitioning you in to your crib full time, you got sick when we started so we ended up bringing you back in to our room. Hopefu

lly with in the next couple weeks you can be in your crib full time.

We are super excited that we got the go ahead to start you on cereal! This weekend you will find us looking at a highchair and stocking up on bibs, so many bibs.

The drooling, my love is out of control! We, your father, myself and even your doc think that before too long you will be cutting teeth. Stop growing so quickly!

Your favorite person this month is your Grammy, I am just chopped liver. No matter what is happening or where we are she can get you to smile...not that it hurts my feelings at all. She did muster the first REAL giggle out of you and my heart just about exploded from pure cuteness.

You still hate tummy time, despite all my efforts. We are kind of at a loss as to what to do to get you to not go nuclear when ever we lay you down.  I mean will you ever learn to crawl? You usually only roll over if you are screaming like a banshee (aka really upset).

You amaze me everyday with the new things you do. Love you.
Mommy